So,
tomorrow is February first, 2009. The resolutions have, again, been broken.
Is it too late? I don't know. When I was 25, I could just starve myself for a few weeks and drop ten pounds. Now that I'm in my forties, it's not that easy. It's not easy at all. It seems almost impossible to lose 10 pounds, and yet, the pounds easily creep up and I don't notice until I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself. Or my jeans get tight, and I have to buy the next size up. The lines on the face, the saggy chin, the thights...is this really me? I see a hundred advertisements for easy ways out...the acai berry; as seen on Oprah; lose twenty five pounds of belly fat in two weeks; the Adtkins diet; the master cleanse; Weight Watchers; believe me, I've tried just about everything at one point or another, with mixed results. I know, the only way to really lose weight is to watch what I eat, to move (get exercise), eat healthy, etc. I have a lot of trouble getting motivated. Why? Why is it so freakin' hard for me to get my ass off the couch? Is it time management? Maybe. Is it laziness? Definitely. I'll admit that I should be motivated, I admit that at rare times I am motivated. But I don't know why the feeling is so fleeting, and I don't know how to get it to come back more often, and how to hold onto it. Is it self respect (or a lack of self respect)? Is it self loathing? Is there really an easy answer? Is it worth the hard work? If anyone actually has any answers for a forty-something mother of two who is over stressed and not happy with her appearance, I'd love to hear them.
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