Target Moms = zombies?

Sure, it starts innocently enough. You're newly married and pregnant, you need some things, you go to Target and find adorable baby outfits, strollers, crib sheets, soft blankets, things for "kid proofing" your home, things you didn't even know you needed.
The blessed event happens, you are a mom. You are responsible for another human being's well being, their life is in your hands. You are completely overwhelmed and over tired, and lucky if you get to take a shower every other day. Where can you go to make yourself feel better? Go to Target. You can even get your coffee there. Hey, it counts as getting out of the house. And you know, everyone needs the essentials, toilet paper, shampoo, underwear. They've got all that and more at Target. They've got things you didn't even know you needed. They've got things you didn't even know existed. That red bullseye seduces you, it hypnotizes you. When you're at the end of your rope, just throw the kid in the car and run to Target. They don't call it retail therapy for no reason. There are lots of mombies there...you know, moms who walk around with that blank stare, sucking down their Starbucks, getting a little box of animal crackers for the kid.
This will be great, you think. Your husband will come home from a tough day at the office and not only will you have some bright new plates on the table, that will hopefully distract him from the piles of dirty laundry, but wait until you tell him they had that little orange/red sticker...you know the one...the one that says clearance! Yes, wait until you tell him how much money you saved! He'll be so thrilled with you.
Once, in February, I bought two light up Christmas elves. They're about 2 feet high, and I thought they were kind of cute. But then, I saw the clearance sticker and found out they were only six dollars a piece! Wow! They had originally been almost forty dollars each! What a deal! I had to have them. I was so excited! I brought them home and set one up in the living room to show the family. My dog just wouldn't stop growling at it, and my daughter (now a teenager), said it gave her the creeps.
The elves are in the basement storage now. Not sure if I'll get them out at Christmas time.
What made me feel wonderful once are now just a painful reminder of things I buy that I don't really love or need. Take my word for it next time you're wandering around Target aimlessly...skip the elves. Put the money into the kid's college fund.
Everyone will be happier.